Being Phaethon...

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Location: Athens, Greece

"I Believe that Pure Speed is not really the issue... It's what you can get out of your Potential."

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Escaping ourselves

It's been a long time, Phaethon, hasn't it? Well, indeed, but it's not really my style trying to fill in some blog pages by just writing "stuff". Although lots of things have happened, I would also never attempt going too personal. Nothing special to analyze, but it's better to leave some more traces of this year behind. Let me be the one who can read behind the lines... After all, this is why this URL exists... So, generalizing but, let's hope, not bullshitting...

How easy is it to escape your own self, your character's DNA prescription? To try and refuse your nature, even when it comes to the simplest matters of your everyday life? It's often the case that some issues of greater importance may make us act accordingly, sacrifice our habits, change the way we treat people. Change our attitude towards life at large. For how long? There will probably come a day, an event, a person that will stir you up and doubts will arise. This is the rule, not the exception. And then, the real test begins...

Because we chose to temporarily change ourselves for a cause, for a reason. We still are committed to our decisions; we still see the target at the end of the tunnel. Will this quake be enough to go back, to be the same again? And does this kind of defeat means we lose our trace? It could be that just being ourselves, with all our weaknesses and bad habits, helps us be mentally stable and thus stronger in our endeavours. I'm starting to believe that this refusal of our own entity is far from the right the way to keep out of trouble and temptation. Maybe it's an illusion; this belief that our usual weaknesses always threaten our most serious dreams is a lie . You need not miss the light; the final destination has to be reached. But which is the right way, after all?

Weaknesses and flaws make us feel human. You need the sin, you need doing the wrong thing from time to time. Just to feel you are not a machine yet, you are not absorbed and totally annihilated by your own goals. During the last few months I tried to push away any outer influence that could possibly put my dreams at stake. And, most likely, I lost some good chances of living great things. "Now, the end is near. I face the final curtain". But, as I can see now, I never learned to act elsewise. I'll probably do the same this time as well. Not allowing myself to spoil what I've been carving for so long... but also letting my senses guide me. And thus, creating "memories".